Monday, December 3, 2007

Faded Glories

The thought hit me over the weekend as I was out in Orchard, having my haircut, doing some light shopping, gaming etc.

This month would see me hitting 28. Twenty fucking eight. 11 years ago when I first dated seriously, my bf then was 28 and all his friends were teasing him for being a "cradle snatcher". Today should I date someone below 20, I'm sure I'd be termed the same.

Not that I want to. Have had enough of bottom "geenas". *shudder*

Anyway, I digress. I looked at myself in the mirror this morning prior to stepping out for work. In a fit of pique at the salon, I told my stylist to crop off everything. The last time I did this was 2002, right smack on my birthday when I had shorn off my shoulder length blonde hair. *wince*

THe effect back then was startling. My face was constantly behind a veiled of expensively maintained locks. For 2 1/2 years I hid my face from myself in a whirl of club lights, on & off stage drama and sex. Facing myself, I was gaunt from overwork as a starving dancer, I was deeply tanned and I was constantly bitchy, nasty and cold. As I looked myself in the eye seated on that barber's chair, I didn't like what I saw.

Today 5 years later, I'm alot older. Overweight and tired. I've been through really shit times in the past 2 years odd, but I've also experienced exquisite happiness. Growing up in recent times saw alot of tears, frustration, despair and fear.

Looking ahead, the immediate future is fraught with worry. Looking around me, my close friends are beset with their own problems and tribulations in life. We're all getting older and wiser. But sometimes life throws you a curveball and you fumble trying to cath it and be back in control.

Look at yourself in the mirror. 5 years from now what do you hope to see in that same but yet changed reflection?

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